Bringing the Noise

An important part of ambulance work is the ability to "Bring the noise". This involves the strobing of some blue lights and some ear shattering electrically generated noises.

This is generally followed by some insanely quick driving and some bruises for the attendant working on the vehicle. It's seen as a big part of ambulance work and to be honest what a lot of people would imagine would be the most fun.

It is not.

Your job when driving in those conditions is to try and avoid hitting any of the morons that you are sharing the road with. Why is it when the sirens are screaming the lights are flashing and the rev of the engine roars Mr BMW man still feels that he can squeeze through a gap and therefore block the progress of the emergency vehicle.

Worse he then turns into a mentally retarded paraplegic while he in vain wrestles with his vehicle controls. I swear I could have put a brain damaged ape in that car and got it moved out of the way quicker.

Do people not realise one day its going to be there fucking relative in that van and they are going to piss and whine about how people wont move out of the way. You are NOT in any more of a hurry than I am so move your fucking status symbol, making up for tiny cock, stupidly driven car out of my way so I can get clear of cunts like yourself and possibly even save a life today.

I trully hope your car broke down and when getting out you caught your hand in the bonnet, and not just any hand, your wanking hand so when you go back to your lonely flat and you wish to masterbate using your own tears as lube, you cannot, and are forced to instead fornicate with your pillow giving you an allergic rash which ultimately leads to an immensely painful swelling where you are then trundled to hospital SLOWLY and your penis is amputated without any pain relief as other CUNTS like yourself are holding up the vehicles trying to bring it to you and you inevitably die through lack of blood as some moron has crashed into it wasting the blood that would have saved your life.

Saving Lives...It's what we do

Is it? Is it REALLY?

I have become recently aware that despite the vision of the public this is not what my job is. I am employed to lie, manipulate and hold back all human emotion to move human cargo from point A to point B.

My job is to approach each patient in a methodical manner to provide the best care possible. What this in fact seems to mean is to develop an ability to turn off all human emotion. I can't afford to panic, or get upset or angry with the patients I move I have to be working by the book and in the calmest manner possible.

Today I collected a gentleman who had accidently overdosed in an effort to stop the pain that he had been to hospital twice for and been fobbed off each time. He didn't even know he had overdosed. He genuinely was just trying to stop the pain.

I couldn't get upset, couldn't tell him he had probably permanently damaged his liver and kidneys. Couldn't get upset when moving him back to A&E and his condition deteroiated. No. My job was to stay calm turn off every basic human emotion and get him to hospital.

Tonight I've come back and looked in the mirror. What I've seen is someone that I don't even recognise. When I found out that he was actually quite poorly later from another ambulance crew I trully didn't care. I didn't want to know. I had delivered him safely to A&E caught the serious problem and had reacted in the best way possible.

Worse this ability to switch off has permeated into the rest of my life. Troubles at home have caused me to switch off every emotional pain receptor in my brain. It bounces off me now and rather than pretending not to care I really don't. I feel nothing.

It has got so bad I no longer know whether when I do feel something if it's me feeling it or me trying to convince myself I feel something just so that I can feel like a normal human being.

At moment I fear that I have destroyed the part of me that cares in an effort to be better. I arrived at a job yesterday upset and 30 seconds out it was gone. No feelings no nothing. What kind of a person can turn off everything, shut down every last piece of humanity?

It appears that in an effort to try and be everything patients need me to be I have turned myself into a robotic machine that cannot care about anything or anyone. I don't know how to go back. I don't even know if its possible for me to go back.

I think I may have destroyed everything in me that makes me a human being.

Neighbours... Everybody needs fucking neighbours

I get why relatives are pillocks. No really I do. They want the best for their relative and they are so stressed and worried they end up fucking up the care I can give their relatives. Angry as it makes me I understand.

What I don't understand is why a next door fucking neighbour insists on getting in the way and telling me how to do my job. If I make a decision based on something clinical its because its what I'm trained to do and I have an understanding that backs the decision. As such if somebody is feeling faint and their systolic blood pressure is 90 I will lie them down.

This is for a simple reason. It makes it easier for the heart to pump blood (and therefore oxygen) to the brain. I do not expect to have to argue with a next door neighbour about why I will not sit them upright when they are feeling faint. I also do not expect to be told that I have to move them in a certain (and to be honest dangerous) way just because they don't think its neccesary for me to use the handling equipment I have on my ambulance.

I'd like to see the dozy cow drive from one end of the city to the other in rush hour in 20 mins. No I can't drive at 90mph the whole fucking way so it will take twenty minutes and frankly if it was any of the people who don't know the roads as well as I do it would have been more like 40.

Seriously I don't expect to be treated like I fiddle children in my spare time and I have a career in raping animals just because I am doing my job and doing it fucking properly. As such I don't expect someone with the clinical knowledge of a grapefruit to get in my way comprimising the safety and stability of my patient just because their favourite soap isn't on for a few hours.

I am guessing she was probably dropped down the stairs at some point and if not she should have been.