Most things in nature are self regulating. For example if you eat so much that you are so fat you cannot physically drag yourself to the refrigerator, then that is nature making you lose some weight.
Now I don't care if you are giving them diet coke, feeding them anything other than carrot sticks is plain irresponsible. When working with equipment rated up to 28 stone and crews are working out whether the equipment can take the strain you are far too fucking fat.
I mean seriously just stop eating!
If you require what can only be described as a crane to get you out of bed then you should consider whether salad really tastes that bad. How in the love of god does your husband penetrate you? Maybe what looks like bondage gear is in fact the support structure to hold the fat folds out of the way?
Also if you have such a need to feed your wife what I can only presume is concentrated lard then you cannot be frustrated when she is uncomfortable because she is balooning over the sides of the trolley.
It is not the NHS purpose to have specially built ambulances available locally just so that they can winch your pet walrus into a cot. If it is coming from over an hour away that is because fortunately at the moment there isn't so many people who are eating the combined diet of a third world country every meal time.
Perhaps next time you are admitted you should be put in a room with a tap next to the bed and a packet of crisps on a table outside the room.
When you have starved enough that you can at least roll your sweaty sack of grease called a body over to the food you may have something to eat.
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