Award for biggest abuse of a NHS service goes to...

I have now seen (A few weeks ago) a new record for biggest shit stain bone idle bastard in the NHS. It is absolutely and totally fucking criminal to use your HCP status to book an ambulance answering yes to the question "is the patient in an immediately life threatening state" triggering a category A call to tell us when we turn up "can you just do a few checks and take him home"

What in jesus tittyfucking christ gives you the right to deliberately divert NHS resources to something that requires a bastard taxi by your own admission from people in genuine need of emergency care?

You are a disgrace to your profession and I would like to introduce an axe to your head with the aim of creating an amateur representation of a cunt between your eyes. A bit like how I picture you but possibly more messy.

Help Me

Is usually a phrase uttered by someone in true peril. I don't expect to hear it from a middle aged man with a runny nose and a sore throat. But then I don't expect someone to ring an ambulance for that kind of condition so what do I know?

I also don't expect to be lectured by a nurse on how CPR should now be at the rate of 140 - 150 compressions a minute and how I don't know what I'm doing and he does because he has been on a course. Who needs to bother with published resuscitation guidelines when a course has told him that he knows better? It makes me all warm inside to know that such a well educated individual could be looking after somebody I know in the future.

I feel much better now that it has pointed out to me that even the advert on TV with the Bee Gees song shows a rate of about 150 a minute. I don't know what kind of freaky dance remix they are listening to but it sure as shit isn't the same as the one I heard when listening to the advert.

I am at a loss as to which is worse...

"I don't mean to tell you how to do your job..."

but you are going to aren't you, you irritating jack russel esque cunt.

This phrase seems to be coming up more and more recently (mostly from people whose role in life is to connect a hose to a water pump) but I've also heard it quite a lot recently from nurses.

Now I don't know how to do a nurses job, but I sure as hell know how to do my job so stop fucking interrupting and demeaning me with your assumption that all we should do is carry people and do what the proper HCP's tell us to. Seriously holding onto a GP's letter like its rocking horse shit and trying to stop us reading it is not helping anyone.

I do wonder if there are idiot ambulance staff standing in A&E's speaking to nurses saying "I dont mean to tell you how to do your job" but I suspect strongly this problem is across the board and there will be somewhere.

Do even BASICS understand what paramedics do?

Looking at A Life in the Day of a Basics Doctor

Can't help but wonder with the below comment from Matt Dinnery

"Someone who, without your volunteering, would quite possibly not have made it tonight!"

What exactly did this BASICS Doctor do that ParaGirl could not? If ambulance was already there would they not have assessed this patient as needing to travel and immobilised appropriately? Only treatment given is IV Fluids which is in paramedic skillset. Going to a MTC is also a decision made by paramedics.

Poor Plod

Checked out Inspector Gadget Blog. Found it quite disappointing.

Apparently poor PC Plod is upset because they have to come out to patients who are potentially violent to assist ambulance crews and they do not think it is their job.

Lets look at the facts

Pc Plod
Starting Wage £23,000
Pension Age 55
Restraint Training
Some have tazers
Batons
CS Spray
Stab Vest

Paramedic
Minimum of 2 Years training that has to be paid for at university by the individual (£18,000 minimum for tuition fees only)
Starting Wage £21,176
Pension Age 60 though soon to be increased to 65 or maybe 68
No restraint training
No personal defence weapons
No Stab Vest

Tell you what police. Fuck off. No we will not wander into dangerous situations because you can't be arsed to come out as you are too busy policing (if not keeping people like EMS workers safe then what exactly is policing?)

Saying S136 is our responsiblity (and all mental health) because we have contacts with mental health units. No we do not. We take them to A&E. Its totally inappropriate. Our vehicles are not safe for somebody that is resisting. You have training in restraint. You have safe police cells.

Saying that drunk patients might die in a police cell so you should be using an EMERGENCY AMBULANCE to take them to A&E rather than arresting them for drunk and disorderly. They are not ill. They are drunk. If you are so concerned take them to A&E for assessment.

In fact the other day I went to "check out" a patient that was feeling "a little down" and police were on scene. What in fucks name were they calling an emergency ambulance for? Do you not have police doctor? What exactly do you want us to do?

You are on more money, retire earlier so shut the fuck up about "wahhhh ambulance service are emergency service they should accept risk as part of their job". Well no. We are an essential service and we are not accepting risk as we are paid nowhere near what you are.

Its annoying to think that our "colleagues" despite abusing the ambulance service (constantly) and dumping people on us rather than actually deal with them (how many times have I been to the cells for a patient that has been arrested but now feels ill so they de-arrest the patient just so they don't have to deal with him) and they bitch and moan about coming out to help us perform our duties safely.

I love the police officer high up the comments who wants some of their staff to do paramedic training (bit like the firemen think they can do our job?) if we won't do what we should be doing by risking life and limb to jump in like heroes and save lives. I wonder if any of the other services have any idea just how much work goes into being a paramedic?

Dick Swinging

When parousing facebook groups surrounding ambulance services (voluntary and paid) I was reading
SJA Facebook Group.

Why must during any discussion a post be preceeded by how big a cock the person has (or is?). For example

"As a duty manager, ETA, Blue Light driver and Ambulance trainer (not to mention 18 years experience of doing motorsports cover)..."

 Would these people speak in this way in person? Is it the same as those people who insist on emails ending their name in a list of post nominals like a list of sexual conquests?

Can people not express an opinion in a manner convincing unless they state all the things they have done? Does a pecking order exist like an exciting game of Top Trumps?

It gets even better when there is a disagreement and the titles list get longer and longer. People begin arguing about who has the most "experience" and start to bring other parts of their life (using the term loosely here) such as

"Im a qualified chemist and work as a materials scientist :P"

Seriously who gives a fuck? How is this organisation supposed to be respected when the members think the correct way to gain respect is to have a pissing contest on a public forum?

Paramedic Refuses to Carry Dying Girl

As if on cue
After saying there was not much worth posting about in last few months the Daily Mail has come to the rescue in Chronic Hypertension causing fuckwittery. (I have just been advised that reading articles printed by the daily mail is in fact one of the most common causes of chronic hypertension)

Paramedic Ms Lynn denied she had put her patient's health beneath her own

So what if she fucking had? Why in fucks name should we put patients before ourselves? Christ the public already are all for raping pensions, think we get paid too much and are sat around like water fairys picking our arse cracks. What in gods name would make me want to risk myself for any patient? Will we get any thanks for it? I'm pretty sure they won't bother paying our pension if we are incapcitated and I doubt the general public will be supportive of sick pay or a redundancy package.
Daryl Proctor, a first-aider

I think I can say this for all of us - we all looked at each other as if to say ‘f**k health and safety’

Well clearly. You had a fucking hour and you hadn't bothered to move the young girl out of a freezing cold fucking muddy shitty hole. You had also been too fucking THICK to go and open the bastard gate because "you presume the ambulance crew would use their magical father christmas type key" (Slight paraphrasing) and not one of you were concerned enough about the poor child to go and meet the ambulance and help them find the girl because you are a bunch of bone idle cunts.

The comment that came out was "this is a low priority call" or "a green call". That was the male paramedic.'

So basically you don't know what the paramedic said, those two are nowhere near the same words. You have no fucking clue what was said and you are making it up (with the help of the Daily Mail inserting quote marks) to pass it off as fact.
Also its FUCKING AMPDS. Almost certainly the reason this was low priority is you gave shit information (well let's be honest you didn't think to open the fucking gate to the field did you, you daft bastard?)
But anyway now we have critqued the IQ berefit reporter lets look at the average Daily Mail racist cunt reader to see their opinions they have chosen to share in between claiming dole and watching Jeremy Kyle.

What in the name of God has my country become..............?
- Mitch, Stalag Southampton, Land Of Doom

Fuck knows, My Atlas doesn't indicate where "Land of Doom" is located. Instead this article is about the UK so not sure why you feel the state of "your" (are you the dictator or something?) country is relevant. However if it is "your" country as you claim perhaps you should spend more time sorting it and less time posting on Daily Mail site, hmmmmmm?

Absolutely disgusting, what the hell sort of people are doing these jobs, this awful woman should be truly ashamed of herself 'frightened they fell over' what the

Who said she was frightened of falling over? Are you incapable of reading? I suspect probably. I am impressed you managed to type that response. I am considering submitting this as evidence for the Infinite Monkey Theorem. I also wasn't aware that you could bash your head against a keyboard and get a somewhat intelligable composition of thought.

not surprised were i work there are plenty of people that make more effort looking for excuses to do noting than just getting on with jobs they are just lazy it makes me sick

I can't help but notice the girl died in hospital. Now I am no expert on LAS however I am pretty sure they do not have a fucking teleporter so I would suggest they in fact did get the girl safely onto the ambulance. Unless of course your point is that ambulance crews are not only lazy but thick in not being able to find excuses to do nothing. Or are you implying that where you work people are even more lazy than ambulance staff? To be fair that is probably true given the workload of LAS on any given day. I can only hope your sickness is the start of ebola. Or maybe something slower like the onset of AIDS.

The LAS attendents are in the wrong profession; health and safety gone mad. In that situation I wouldnt follow backcare guidance.. I'd rather be in trouble for trying to help than not..

This is exactly why LAS don't want you. Just what they need is someone scrounging off public sector sick pay because they were too thick to consider carefully how to move the young girl. I would think you are exactly the kind of IQ negative morons that would have dropped the fucking girl on her head (not great for seizures - medical fact). Even better there is no evidence of the paramedic being worried about her back. Just the H&S of everyone. I expect you are exactly the kind of sponging cunt that would have sued LAS had you have hurt your back helping. In fact why the fuck didn't you help?

This brings me to the main point, all these people were suggesting that the ambulance crew should have used their superhuman powers and magical keys (we have a lot of responsiblity for band 5) to move this girl yet the slack jawed yokels spent one hour looking at her on the floor. A WHOLE FUCKING HOUR?! Why are people not up in arms about the ridiculously inept safety planning from organiser or the lack of brain cells to rub together between all of the fucking witnesses.
I'd be asking how any human being could spend an hour looking at an injured girl on the floor and just grumble the ambulance crew have not turned up.
To add cream to the whole thing

'I believe that I walked away at that point. I really was very close to being either verbally or physically abusive to the LAS attendant.

What a great example to set from a fucking history teacher. In front of children lets assault emergency services. You have done fuck all but watch a girl waste away for an hour, you failed to get an ambulance even though she suffered from a "violent" fit (just what in gods name were you expecting batman the wonder aider to do?) and then think you have the GOD GIVEN RIGHT to fucking assault my colleagues?!
You are complete scum. You are a complete waste of nutrients, oxygen and sunlight. I hope you are put on the fucking child abuse register. I hope nobody with your lack of compassion or criminal motivations are never allowed near children again.
In summary a plague of locusts causing genital necrosis is not a good enough punishment for this bunch of frontal lobe damaged idiots. You can point blame around all you want but first aid is the difference between a life lost and a life saved. You wasted that hour being self righteous lazy cunts and caused the death of a 14 year old girl. You have no excuse, there was no training needed to realise that leaving that girl in the mud for an hour and not even trying to help emergency services find her would contribute to her death.
How you can even managed not to drown yourselves in your own tears I do not know, I can only hope you choke slowly on your vomit while you sleep.